Stress Shopper Redux

As I mentioned a week or so ago, I am a stress shopper. When the chips are down, I go shopping...yadda, yadda, yadda.  You get the drift. 

I don't remember if I mentioned but R has lost his job.  He has been doing contract work for the past two years and the company, as the trend goes in these times, has cut their budget. IT is one of the places they made major cuts, and therefore, his contract.  Simple for them, not so simple for me/us.  I spent over three years supporting our family, one of the years was my Cold Turkey year, and it was Tough, with a capital T.  I don't know I am in the frame of mind to do it again.  I am having a very difficult time getting my head around the fact that it is all up to me, redux.

So, when times get tough, the tough go shopping.  I have been unreasonably drawn to Anthropologie lately.  I signed up for the dreaded Anthro Card and now receive emails with specials, free shippipng, extra 25% off, you name it, I get it.  I don't immediately delete those emails, either.  I right click and download the pictures and off I go, into the world of wish lists.  Unfortunately I don't always just wish...I have not been able to avoid the extra cute and seemingly one-of-a-kind tops they have. I have always loved their clothes, but right now, their ultra cute, sexy and unusual summer tops have me sweating bullets.  My shopping basket was suddenly filled with unique things I knew I should not buy.  I ended up with two from the on-line store, spending less than $100.  And then yesterday I found myself in the actual store, browsing through the sale racks with a host of other women.  I found two must have items and left spending another $100. 

The two new tops are hanging in the closet with tags attached. 

I will report if they stay in my closet with tags, back in the store for a return, or on my back.

Love,
s

Reese Top in Navy/White stripe
Both on sale.  How could I resist?
Passerine Top in white

The 4th of July

The 4th of July, one of my favorite holiday's.  Not only because it is a day off for everyone I know, but I love the celebrations in the neighborhoods, the community events, the red, white and blue splendor, and the flag waving, everywhere you go.  It is a tradition that makes me proud;  of my heritage and my country, no matter what state it is currently embroiled in.  The masses come out with pride in our achievements and glory.  I love it!

We have spent the past seven or eight years with friends that have an annual barbecue pot-luck.  Since the kids have flown the coop, we have been spending the day with the host family and their friends and neighbors and each year, it just gets better.  Perhaps the familiarity of spending the time with people we only see twice a year - 4th of July and Super Bowl Sunday - gives me a feeling that things are not changing as much as I think.  The same people come to these events, year after year.  I am always asked to bring a vegetable platter, or a fruit platter, which I never buy pre-made, but make myself.  I select the fruits or vegetables, cut them (blanche what needs blanching) and arrange them on a red platter for the holdiay.  I take pride in ensuring they are beautifully presented since that is my yearly contribution. 

We had a great time with these friends, as we always do.  We are lucky to live where we do, to have the friends we have, and to be able to celebrate a day like the 4th of July in complete freedom.  Long may Old Glory wave.

Love,

S

Confessions of a Stress Shopper

I am a stress shopper.  I admit it.  Even after going a full year without buying anything, and completely rehabbing my shopping habits, i.e.; only buying things I will wear, sticking with the monochromatic colors of my wardrobe and embracing it, and making wish lists rather than wish purchases.  When I feel stressed, I either eat or buy something.  Why is it when the chips are down, I go shopping?  What is it about "getting a little something for myself", that gives me such a lift?  Albeit a temorary lift, but a lift nonetheless. 

I guess I will never know the answer to these questions. At least this time of year, I can concentrate on SALE shopping, which in theory, is not quite so bad as full retail.  Right?  Of course right.

Love,
S

This is Father's Day weekend.  I have a lot to be thankful for.  I have a wonderful husband that helped me raise two wonderful boys.  That is/was not an easy job for a man that had never been married and had no children of his own.  But I have been unbelievably blessed.  R has, from Day1, talked about my boys as "our" boys. He has always told people about his children, it has never been a question they are not his biological sons.  He has been the very best second Dad a child could possibly want.  I admire him so much for the way he has made us a true family.  I will honor him as I have every Father's Day for the past 18 years. 

R without his dogs would not be R. He has so much love for dogs, babies, and all living things.  He has spent the last 18 years teaching me how to relax, love and live.  I am a slow learner...at least on the relaxing part, but he never gives up! 

Thank you my darling husband.  Thank you for taking on the burden that is me and being the very best second father anyone could ask for.

Love,
S

Showing a little restraint

I just got back from a blissful week in Cabo San Lucas.  And although I was truly on vacation, and had my vacation psyche mode in full swing, nary a thing did I buy.  I know I am done with my Cold Turkey time investment, but I like to think I learned a few things. 

I haven't been the best at showing restraint when it comes to my shopping habits, but I know I have improved.  My thinking is, improvement is better than no change at all, right?  Baby steps have always been my motto when wanting to make changes, and what better way to take small steps than going on vacation and not making a single purchase for myself?  I was "oh so tempted" at the very last minute, but did a quick step out of the shop and whistled my way back to the resort where we were staying.

The thing is, I have a bag of  'things' to get out of my way in the garage right now and I would like to replace those things with nothing.  If there had been ONE thing, that I know for certain would be appreciated once I came out of vacation mode, I may have pulled the credit card out and come home with something.  But I just didn't see that ONE thing and am home with a suitcase full of memories and a lot of dirty laundry.  To my mind, that is a relaxing vacation... 

Happy Mother's Day.  Today is the most celebrated Hallmark holiday of the year.  But alas, I received not a single card, which isn't unusual.  I guess since both my son's were raised giving cards for every holiday that could be imagined, my thought and understanding was they would carry that tradition to their adulthood, when I was no longer around to take them to pick out said cards.  It is up to my poor, sad, partner for life to try and make up for my children's thoughtlessness and I am merciless in my criticisms.  I try, Lord knows, every year I try, to not be cruel and to acknowledge his intentions with love and sweetness.  But it grinds at me just the same.

So, knowing as I do that I will not be acknowledged, except for the haphazard voice mail with a "call me back", from one son - as if I would - and the actual voice of the other, I went ahead and did a little poor me shopping this week.  Oh yes, I know what I would like!  The very cutes cuffed skinny black pants came home with me, along with a couple of casual tops that make my new boyfriend cropped jeans feel very stylish indeed.  Ok, so it may not have been about being neglected for my special holiday at all.  It could be that these pants fit perfectly and both tops were on sale - bonus - that indulged my inner style icon.  I also know I will be heading to Mexico for a week trip and need a few new vibrant tops to liven up my mostly staid wardrobe of black and white t-shirts. 

Cabo San Lucas, you are on my mind...

 

Goodness, it has been over two years since I have posted and what a two years it has been.  Where did I leave off?  Well for one, my template is completely gone.  When I logged in this morning, all is wiped away and there is a blank slate for me to write on.  All my pictures, wallpaper, everything, is gone.  Being a DSLL (digital second language learner for those of you not in the know) I am not happy about this.  Where do I begin again?  I think I shall spend some time 'fixing' things and THEN begin the updates about where I have been and where I am going.  Because I am not sure of the answers to either of those questions!
Love,
Susan

12 Days of Shopping

Here I am, 12 Days into my new reformed shopping life.  Here's what I have to show for it with notes about whether it was on my Must Have - First Purchase list.

• 1 pair of black Whitney Pants / Nordstrom on my list and pictured last month
• 1 3/4 sleeve Black Cotton Cashmere Cardigan with sparkle buttons / not on the list
• 1 Dark Teal Straight Lace Tank top / not on the list
• 1 Black Chiffon Cascade Ruffle Tank / not specifically on the list but similar ones pictured earlier in the year
• 3 pairs Hanky Panky underwear / Nordstrom Sale and on the list.  (These suckers are comfortable. I can't find it in my consciousness to pay $18 - $22 for a pair of underwear, but these were ON SALE for $12 and I could justify it)
• 3 pairs traditional Felina boy leg underwear / On the list and ones I have been wearing for several years.
• 2 Ann Taylor Dresses / not on the list but oh, so cute and wearable.
• 3 Bandeau tops to wear under lowcut tops / Not on the list but a basic wardrobe item and they were Buy Two get the Third One Free and only $6.
• 1 Black Lace Teddy / Also not on the list but no apologies there.
• 1 pair of Black Birkenstock sandals / not on the list but a much needed item.

Total damage for my first 12 days:  $590.08.  I had a budget of $600 and came right within the limit. I got a few things I desperately needed and will wait on all the others.  The rest of my must have list I haven't been able to find.  I have searched high and low for the perfect pair of black flats.  I have been to both Zappo's and Endless.Com, neither of which were satisfactory.  I have searched Nordstrom, Macy's, Cole Haan, Bloomingdales, JC Penney's, Ann Taylor, J. Crew (I don't think they know what flats are anymore), and several other shoe boutiques.  I did see a pair in the Tod's store at South Coast Plaza, but I couldn't justify trying on a pair of $495 flats.  That was just a little bit outside my price range!  I also kept my eye's open for a good basic white shirt, which I didn't find but will continue to look and wait for sales. 

I am satisfied with what I have, know I don't really need much else and don't have the urge to look for anything else until next spring.  My old black Coach backpack is surviving well and I have a fall back, red leather bag from Sundance that is still hip and young looking.  I am doing all right. 

Love,
S

Shoes - I've been trying to find them

Here it is, Day 7 of my new shopping freedom and I haven't come up with a decent pair of black flats.  True, I haven't been to a store.  I have been shopping on-line with limited results.  I am heading to Nordstrom today, to see if I can finally find a pair of shoes that are not too narrow, not too clunky, not too high, and not too casual.

All these requirements are here for a reason.  I have been shopping on line and nothing has been right...except the fab new Birkenstocks I received from Endless.com.  Birks were not on my "first purchase" list but I had a great pair of Thinks that I wore for years. They blew out early in my year of Cold Turkey and I really did "need" something more substantial than flip flops for walking around in, the house, the store or for casual outings.  So when I saw these great Birks on sale on Endless, I bought them. 

I have had 4 pairs of black flats come to the house and leave the house within hours this past week.  Therefore, a trip to the actual store is in order.  And maybe I will get a few pairs of underwear while I am there.

Love,
S

November 3 and oh so relieved

I made it through my last weekend with flying colors!  I spent October 28th through November 1st in Palm Springs with my GF's and held strong.  We mostly spent our time laughing, talking, eating and drinking but we did have a few moments of PSP shopping time.  We found a cute boutique, Ooh La La, where both J & K found a couple of darling things to take home. I helped find things, ran sizes but didn't try anything on.  It would have been hard, being so close to the end of the year, but I held strong.

On Monday morning I took a shower and used my Morroccan Hair Oil for the first time.  A big Thank YOU to my friend A that so generously parted with her supply to help me out.  I love the stuff, and it's just as great when I use it as my hairdresser.

When I came home, I immediately went on-line and purchased the shoes I had in my shopping cart at Endless.com.  The first pair came yesterday and are going back today.  Turns out the Shadow Shea booties are not the best fit for my feet, BUT, they are free shipping both ways and no sales tax, so how could I go wrong?  Today the next two pairs are coming and will go right back if they aren't exactly right either. 

When R came home from work, he brought out the black knit DKNY dress I had lusted for in August.  He DID go buy it and held onto it until Monday!  What a guy!!

My mail was a big surprise.  My sweet and uber supportive sister P sent me the cutest congratulations card with a $25 gift card for Target and a note about the cute hats and scarves they have right now.  I tried on her hat while in SFO for the marathon and loved it!  I actually tried one on very similar in a haberdashery in PSP and told the gals it would be one of my first purchases.  Great for bad hair days and Santa Ana wind days.  Can't wait to make the trip!

I must get to a shop today for new underwear however.  That will make my week.  I am holding off on any other purchases or must haves for now.  Not only am I extremely busy and don't have time to get to the Mall, but it is a little anti-climatic.  I don't feel the 'need' to run out and buy.  But knowing I can if I DO need to makes all the difference in the world.  I love the new freedom. 

I am wary of the stores, and I am still in shock that I held out for the entire 365 days.  For some, it may not seem like a big deal, but for me, well I can honestly say it was very difficult.  I am glad I began and finished during this time of year.  There are not as many temptations during Southern CA winters as there are in the spring and summer. 

I will post when I actually buy something, hopefully this week.

Love,
S

Moroccon Hair Oil - revisited

I have 4 days left of Cold Turkey.  I have spent the last 4 days in beautiful Monterey, CA on business.  Yesterday morning my most wonderful gal pal knocked on my hotel door and left me with a small bottle of Moroccan Hair Oil.
Oh, how I long to use this great stuff.  BUT, I will wait.  I am heading out tomorrow with my 3 bff's to spend the next 4 days in Palm Springs.  The Agenda:

• Head to Temecula to wine taste
• Ride the PSP Aerial Tramway
• Watch World Series Baseball
• Get some much needed RNR in the sun

I can wait for Moroccan Hair Oil.  But on Monday morning, before I leave PSP, I will utilize my slightly used bottle of Moroccan Hair Oil and move forward to hair bliss!

Love,
S

PS:  First stop after the airport, buying underwear!

12 days

I spent the weekend in San Francisco with my sis and my gf's.  We were there to run in a Half Marathon and do some shopping.  It was H's birthday so Saturday we spent the day at Nike Town, Macy's and etc., looking for the perfect birthday weekend wear.  H came away with some amazing pieces at Macy's, tops, pants, and too cute dresses. And I went ahead and tried on skinny jeans/jeggings for the first time. I have steadfastly avoided the style, I think I may have mentioned them in a post at some point. I am old enough to have worn them in the 70's when pegged jeans were the rage. I was MUCH younger then, could wear the style and STILL thought it made most girls (and guys) look like they had carrots for legs.  Unless you are ultra-thin, the style is not for you. 

However, I have now gone over to the skinny jeans/jeggings side.  After trying them on in a couple of stores, I actually like them. I was amazed at how my legs looked longer and leaner in them.  My gf T is not super tall and she wears them and they look great.  My mind has been changed, I think I like them.

More trying on and more investigating styles and fabrics with gf's that are honest is needed.  And I am not about to drop too much coin on something as trendy as skinny jeans, but they have been here for a couple years now and may stay another couple.  Maybe worth it to look updated and fabulous, don't you think?

Love,
S

18 Days and Counting

I was sitting in front of the computer thinking about all the work I have to do in the next 3 weeks and it dawned on me, I have less than 3 weeks before I can say I am done with Cold Turkey!  No longer will I need to explain to anyone, my hairdresser, the clerk at the shampoo counter, the salesperson at whatever store I happen to be wandering through.  No more will I be yearning to buy something and have to say, "No, not this day, week, month or year".   

But will I pull out the credit card immediately when tempted after all this time?  I don't think so.  I have listed things I've learned before this, but now I think I am even more likely to hold back.  It really does come down to whether it is a want or a need...a lust or a must!

1. Does (fill in the blank) go with what I have in my closet?
2. Does it fill a hole that I have been missing this past year?
3. Is it my style?  I have learned and blogged previously about trendy clothing.  Trends are usually not my style, unless the trend is for clean lines and little fuss.
4. I have blogged about color, will I really wear that magenta or carrot sweater/shirt or jacket that is so the color this fall? 

When I cleared my clutter this month, a lot of the hot colors were thinned.  I will have to really love 'it' before "it" comes home with me from now on.

I have come to realize that you really can have too many white and black T's.  There are just so many variations on the same shirt, and any more?  It's a waste, of money and space in the closet.

So my plan is to be meaner, cleaner and wiser in my choices.  I will at least strive to ask myself the above questions before I head to the cash register.

Love,
S

Day 23 - what do you think of these flats?

I found these on the Nordstrom website, but of course they don't have my size.  So after some searching, I found them on another site with free shipping both ways.  Let me know what you think.  I like different and unique shoes, which these are.  Plus I think the rounded toes would be very comfortable for my running feet.

This is a brand I haven't tried before, Mea Shadow.  I like the unusual lines and they have a zipper up the back.  Very cute in my mind.

Love,
S

23 Days to go

I am getting serious about finding black flats.  I have been scouring catalogs and websites. I haven't ventured into a single store...too afraid I might find the perfect pair with just over 3 weeks to go and cave. Zappo's opens on my browser now with just a letter Z.  Oh dear.

November 1st can't come quickly enough.

Love,
S

28 Days and Counting - First purchase on agenda

I have 3 girlfriends coming the end of October for a weekend in fabulous Palm Springs.  We have wine tasting in Temecula, a ride on the PSP Aerial Tramway and some pool time for sure for my Mid West and East Coast gal pals.  We will also spend some time having dinner and shopping in the beautiful and quaint downtown area of Palm Springs.  At least I will be tagging along ~ and I am always up for a good dinner with my friends.  Alas, their last day in town in is November 1st, the FIRST day I will be allowed to begin my new rehabilitated shopping life.  I will be dropping them at the airport in the morning and they won't be with me for my first venture into a store where my credit card can be actually used!

So, I have decided to make an appointment with Victoria, my wonderful bra sales person and that will be my first purchase.  I have to have new bra's and underwear!  I have begun getting a new catalog in the mail called BraSmyth.  I had not heard of this company before but it looks like all they sell are beautiful bra's and a few loungy night clothes.  But the selection is amazing!  I have never seen so many beautiful bra's and from companies I hadn't heard of in one place before.  The closest store is in New York, so I won't be shopping there soon.  But I need Victoria to help me find some things to tide me over, until my next shopping sojourn to the Big Apple. 

Check out http://www.brasmyth.com/. 

Love,
S

Friday, September 24 and 37 Days to Go!

I have been the ultimate in busy this week and haven't thought about shopping, well almost.  I did think a wee bit about those black pants I need.  I spent a day in a training this week.  The room was alternately hot and stuffy and then cold.  You know how that is when you are not in charge of the A/C or your personal comfort level?  I was in a room with 39 teachers, most of them women in their 40's or early 50's and they were either having hot flashes, or wrapped in sweaters!  It was truly amusing.

But I digress...the pants.  When I left the training, I felt very disheveled, wrinkled, and soggy.  Since 'The Mall' was on my way home, I thought, "why not?", and I swung into the Nordstrom parking lot to check out the black Halogen pants with the great fabric I wrote about a post or two ago.

I found them right away and tried on 3 styles.  They fit great, I like one style best (they didn't have my size in black in those) and now I am hoping they still have them in 37 days.  Folks, I am almost down to a month!  Aack!  

Love,
S

PS:  Let me know what you think about the pants.  Halogen Whitney Pants, $78.00

45 Days and Counting!!

Yesterday I finished cleaning out the closet.  Took a load to the Goodwill and dropped a large load at Working Wardrobes.  I highly recommend this organization for any good business attire you may need to move out of your closet.

The goal of Working Wardrobes is to clothe men and women that are or have been homeless, or are living in shelters, and are rejoing the workforce.  They work with adults to make sure when they go for their interviews they are dressed in appropriate work apparel, coach them in interviewing skills and work very hard to get people back into a productive lifestyle.  WW helps both men and women in more ways than just giving them clothing.  They are a support system for people trying to restart their lives. 

There are Working Wardrobe type organizations all over the country.  Check them out next time you are clearing your clutter.  They are a worthy organization!

Love,
S

PS:  I am getting giddy with anticipation for November 1st. I am EXTREMELY busy for the entire month of October and hope it will help me get through those last couple weeks without too much anxiety.  I can't believe this is almost over.

51 Days - The List has started

I have had so many people ask me what is the first thing I am going to buy once I am out of Cold Turkey.  It 's interesting to see how many people, now that I am nearing the end of the road, want to know what is missing most in my wardrobe.  There are a few MUST HAVE purchases.  I need them, so I will buy underwear and bra's.  But what I want and feel are must have's to complete my depleted wardrobe are the following:

1. Black flats: One's that can be worn with capri's, jeans, skirts and slacks.  I am sorely missing this very basic item in my shoe wardrobe. I almost think there will be TWO pairs of black flats coming home with me in early November.  I'm on shoe alert for the perfect pair now.

2. Black slacks that are not part of a suit.  I need a pair for work, that can be paired with tops and sweaters I currently own.  Nordstrom has a line of basic black pants that are wash and wear and come in several shapes and fits.  A trip to Nordstrom will be in order.

3.  A white shirt.  I have a great JCrew shirt that I love, but it is too big and doesn't really look sharp enough for work.  A long, tunic length would be great and then another in a shorter length might be in order. We shall see. (Do you think I should 86 the too big shirt?  I put it on and take it off every week, it seems.)

4.  A new bag.  Boy I'd love to have a good slouchy bag, and will begin the watch now.  I don't want to spend a small fortune on one so I may have to wait until they are on 'sale' at Half Yearly in December.

5. Moroccan Oil - Yes, I wrote about it last week and I still am jonesing for it.  Gotta have it!

Not too bad a list, if you ask me.  We'll see if the list gets longer the closer I get to November.

Love,
S

52 Days and I am OH SO Tired of this.

I am so close and it seems to be getting harder.  I have done a fairly good job of cleaning out the closet. I absolutely got rid of shoes, 12 pairs to go to Working Wardrobes, and several that are too casual and will end up in the Goodwill pile.
I have several beautiful suits in the spare room on hangers and I am still deciding about some tops - whether I should keep them just in case, or have them go to WW along with the suits. I cleared out my sweater bags, have cleaned house in that department and there are beautiful cashmere's along with a couple of gorgeous Eileen Fisher sweater type jackets.  I don't think I am going to miss them a bit.  I didn't even wear them last winter in WA State in the snow, what makes me think I will wear them in Southern CA in the heat?   A benefit to the whole project is I can actually move the clothes around now, I can see what I have and what holes I have in my wardrobe. I am not done.  Not by any stretch of the imagination.  I still have another whole row of tops to work through. 

I need to pull out my old resource manual:  Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui, by Karen Kingston.  It is an amazing book about how to clean out the clutter and feel better overall. 

I definitely need some inspiration.  52 days, it seems like forever.

Love,
S