Stress Shopper Redux

As I mentioned a week or so ago, I am a stress shopper. When the chips are down, I go shopping...yadda, yadda, yadda.  You get the drift. 

I don't remember if I mentioned but R has lost his job.  He has been doing contract work for the past two years and the company, as the trend goes in these times, has cut their budget. IT is one of the places they made major cuts, and therefore, his contract.  Simple for them, not so simple for me/us.  I spent over three years supporting our family, one of the years was my Cold Turkey year, and it was Tough, with a capital T.  I don't know I am in the frame of mind to do it again.  I am having a very difficult time getting my head around the fact that it is all up to me, redux.

So, when times get tough, the tough go shopping.  I have been unreasonably drawn to Anthropologie lately.  I signed up for the dreaded Anthro Card and now receive emails with specials, free shippipng, extra 25% off, you name it, I get it.  I don't immediately delete those emails, either.  I right click and download the pictures and off I go, into the world of wish lists.  Unfortunately I don't always just wish...I have not been able to avoid the extra cute and seemingly one-of-a-kind tops they have. I have always loved their clothes, but right now, their ultra cute, sexy and unusual summer tops have me sweating bullets.  My shopping basket was suddenly filled with unique things I knew I should not buy.  I ended up with two from the on-line store, spending less than $100.  And then yesterday I found myself in the actual store, browsing through the sale racks with a host of other women.  I found two must have items and left spending another $100. 

The two new tops are hanging in the closet with tags attached. 

I will report if they stay in my closet with tags, back in the store for a return, or on my back.

Love,
s

Reese Top in Navy/White stripe
Both on sale.  How could I resist?
Passerine Top in white

The 4th of July

The 4th of July, one of my favorite holiday's.  Not only because it is a day off for everyone I know, but I love the celebrations in the neighborhoods, the community events, the red, white and blue splendor, and the flag waving, everywhere you go.  It is a tradition that makes me proud;  of my heritage and my country, no matter what state it is currently embroiled in.  The masses come out with pride in our achievements and glory.  I love it!

We have spent the past seven or eight years with friends that have an annual barbecue pot-luck.  Since the kids have flown the coop, we have been spending the day with the host family and their friends and neighbors and each year, it just gets better.  Perhaps the familiarity of spending the time with people we only see twice a year - 4th of July and Super Bowl Sunday - gives me a feeling that things are not changing as much as I think.  The same people come to these events, year after year.  I am always asked to bring a vegetable platter, or a fruit platter, which I never buy pre-made, but make myself.  I select the fruits or vegetables, cut them (blanche what needs blanching) and arrange them on a red platter for the holdiay.  I take pride in ensuring they are beautifully presented since that is my yearly contribution. 

We had a great time with these friends, as we always do.  We are lucky to live where we do, to have the friends we have, and to be able to celebrate a day like the 4th of July in complete freedom.  Long may Old Glory wave.

Love,

S

Confessions of a Stress Shopper

I am a stress shopper.  I admit it.  Even after going a full year without buying anything, and completely rehabbing my shopping habits, i.e.; only buying things I will wear, sticking with the monochromatic colors of my wardrobe and embracing it, and making wish lists rather than wish purchases.  When I feel stressed, I either eat or buy something.  Why is it when the chips are down, I go shopping?  What is it about "getting a little something for myself", that gives me such a lift?  Albeit a temorary lift, but a lift nonetheless. 

I guess I will never know the answer to these questions. At least this time of year, I can concentrate on SALE shopping, which in theory, is not quite so bad as full retail.  Right?  Of course right.

Love,
S

This is Father's Day weekend.  I have a lot to be thankful for.  I have a wonderful husband that helped me raise two wonderful boys.  That is/was not an easy job for a man that had never been married and had no children of his own.  But I have been unbelievably blessed.  R has, from Day1, talked about my boys as "our" boys. He has always told people about his children, it has never been a question they are not his biological sons.  He has been the very best second Dad a child could possibly want.  I admire him so much for the way he has made us a true family.  I will honor him as I have every Father's Day for the past 18 years. 

R without his dogs would not be R. He has so much love for dogs, babies, and all living things.  He has spent the last 18 years teaching me how to relax, love and live.  I am a slow learner...at least on the relaxing part, but he never gives up! 

Thank you my darling husband.  Thank you for taking on the burden that is me and being the very best second father anyone could ask for.

Love,
S

Showing a little restraint

I just got back from a blissful week in Cabo San Lucas.  And although I was truly on vacation, and had my vacation psyche mode in full swing, nary a thing did I buy.  I know I am done with my Cold Turkey time investment, but I like to think I learned a few things. 

I haven't been the best at showing restraint when it comes to my shopping habits, but I know I have improved.  My thinking is, improvement is better than no change at all, right?  Baby steps have always been my motto when wanting to make changes, and what better way to take small steps than going on vacation and not making a single purchase for myself?  I was "oh so tempted" at the very last minute, but did a quick step out of the shop and whistled my way back to the resort where we were staying.

The thing is, I have a bag of  'things' to get out of my way in the garage right now and I would like to replace those things with nothing.  If there had been ONE thing, that I know for certain would be appreciated once I came out of vacation mode, I may have pulled the credit card out and come home with something.  But I just didn't see that ONE thing and am home with a suitcase full of memories and a lot of dirty laundry.  To my mind, that is a relaxing vacation... 

Happy Mother's Day.  Today is the most celebrated Hallmark holiday of the year.  But alas, I received not a single card, which isn't unusual.  I guess since both my son's were raised giving cards for every holiday that could be imagined, my thought and understanding was they would carry that tradition to their adulthood, when I was no longer around to take them to pick out said cards.  It is up to my poor, sad, partner for life to try and make up for my children's thoughtlessness and I am merciless in my criticisms.  I try, Lord knows, every year I try, to not be cruel and to acknowledge his intentions with love and sweetness.  But it grinds at me just the same.

So, knowing as I do that I will not be acknowledged, except for the haphazard voice mail with a "call me back", from one son - as if I would - and the actual voice of the other, I went ahead and did a little poor me shopping this week.  Oh yes, I know what I would like!  The very cutes cuffed skinny black pants came home with me, along with a couple of casual tops that make my new boyfriend cropped jeans feel very stylish indeed.  Ok, so it may not have been about being neglected for my special holiday at all.  It could be that these pants fit perfectly and both tops were on sale - bonus - that indulged my inner style icon.  I also know I will be heading to Mexico for a week trip and need a few new vibrant tops to liven up my mostly staid wardrobe of black and white t-shirts. 

Cabo San Lucas, you are on my mind...

 

Goodness, it has been over two years since I have posted and what a two years it has been.  Where did I leave off?  Well for one, my template is completely gone.  When I logged in this morning, all is wiped away and there is a blank slate for me to write on.  All my pictures, wallpaper, everything, is gone.  Being a DSLL (digital second language learner for those of you not in the know) I am not happy about this.  Where do I begin again?  I think I shall spend some time 'fixing' things and THEN begin the updates about where I have been and where I am going.  Because I am not sure of the answers to either of those questions!
Love,
Susan

12 Days of Shopping

Here I am, 12 Days into my new reformed shopping life.  Here's what I have to show for it with notes about whether it was on my Must Have - First Purchase list.

• 1 pair of black Whitney Pants / Nordstrom on my list and pictured last month
• 1 3/4 sleeve Black Cotton Cashmere Cardigan with sparkle buttons / not on the list
• 1 Dark Teal Straight Lace Tank top / not on the list
• 1 Black Chiffon Cascade Ruffle Tank / not specifically on the list but similar ones pictured earlier in the year
• 3 pairs Hanky Panky underwear / Nordstrom Sale and on the list.  (These suckers are comfortable. I can't find it in my consciousness to pay $18 - $22 for a pair of underwear, but these were ON SALE for $12 and I could justify it)
• 3 pairs traditional Felina boy leg underwear / On the list and ones I have been wearing for several years.
• 2 Ann Taylor Dresses / not on the list but oh, so cute and wearable.
• 3 Bandeau tops to wear under lowcut tops / Not on the list but a basic wardrobe item and they were Buy Two get the Third One Free and only $6.
• 1 Black Lace Teddy / Also not on the list but no apologies there.
• 1 pair of Black Birkenstock sandals / not on the list but a much needed item.

Total damage for my first 12 days:  $590.08.  I had a budget of $600 and came right within the limit. I got a few things I desperately needed and will wait on all the others.  The rest of my must have list I haven't been able to find.  I have searched high and low for the perfect pair of black flats.  I have been to both Zappo's and Endless.Com, neither of which were satisfactory.  I have searched Nordstrom, Macy's, Cole Haan, Bloomingdales, JC Penney's, Ann Taylor, J. Crew (I don't think they know what flats are anymore), and several other shoe boutiques.  I did see a pair in the Tod's store at South Coast Plaza, but I couldn't justify trying on a pair of $495 flats.  That was just a little bit outside my price range!  I also kept my eye's open for a good basic white shirt, which I didn't find but will continue to look and wait for sales. 

I am satisfied with what I have, know I don't really need much else and don't have the urge to look for anything else until next spring.  My old black Coach backpack is surviving well and I have a fall back, red leather bag from Sundance that is still hip and young looking.  I am doing all right. 

Love,
S

Shoes - I've been trying to find them

Here it is, Day 7 of my new shopping freedom and I haven't come up with a decent pair of black flats.  True, I haven't been to a store.  I have been shopping on-line with limited results.  I am heading to Nordstrom today, to see if I can finally find a pair of shoes that are not too narrow, not too clunky, not too high, and not too casual.

All these requirements are here for a reason.  I have been shopping on line and nothing has been right...except the fab new Birkenstocks I received from Endless.com.  Birks were not on my "first purchase" list but I had a great pair of Thinks that I wore for years. They blew out early in my year of Cold Turkey and I really did "need" something more substantial than flip flops for walking around in, the house, the store or for casual outings.  So when I saw these great Birks on sale on Endless, I bought them. 

I have had 4 pairs of black flats come to the house and leave the house within hours this past week.  Therefore, a trip to the actual store is in order.  And maybe I will get a few pairs of underwear while I am there.

Love,
S

November 3 and oh so relieved

I made it through my last weekend with flying colors!  I spent October 28th through November 1st in Palm Springs with my GF's and held strong.  We mostly spent our time laughing, talking, eating and drinking but we did have a few moments of PSP shopping time.  We found a cute boutique, Ooh La La, where both J & K found a couple of darling things to take home. I helped find things, ran sizes but didn't try anything on.  It would have been hard, being so close to the end of the year, but I held strong.

On Monday morning I took a shower and used my Morroccan Hair Oil for the first time.  A big Thank YOU to my friend A that so generously parted with her supply to help me out.  I love the stuff, and it's just as great when I use it as my hairdresser.

When I came home, I immediately went on-line and purchased the shoes I had in my shopping cart at Endless.com.  The first pair came yesterday and are going back today.  Turns out the Shadow Shea booties are not the best fit for my feet, BUT, they are free shipping both ways and no sales tax, so how could I go wrong?  Today the next two pairs are coming and will go right back if they aren't exactly right either. 

When R came home from work, he brought out the black knit DKNY dress I had lusted for in August.  He DID go buy it and held onto it until Monday!  What a guy!!

My mail was a big surprise.  My sweet and uber supportive sister P sent me the cutest congratulations card with a $25 gift card for Target and a note about the cute hats and scarves they have right now.  I tried on her hat while in SFO for the marathon and loved it!  I actually tried one on very similar in a haberdashery in PSP and told the gals it would be one of my first purchases.  Great for bad hair days and Santa Ana wind days.  Can't wait to make the trip!

I must get to a shop today for new underwear however.  That will make my week.  I am holding off on any other purchases or must haves for now.  Not only am I extremely busy and don't have time to get to the Mall, but it is a little anti-climatic.  I don't feel the 'need' to run out and buy.  But knowing I can if I DO need to makes all the difference in the world.  I love the new freedom. 

I am wary of the stores, and I am still in shock that I held out for the entire 365 days.  For some, it may not seem like a big deal, but for me, well I can honestly say it was very difficult.  I am glad I began and finished during this time of year.  There are not as many temptations during Southern CA winters as there are in the spring and summer. 

I will post when I actually buy something, hopefully this week.

Love,
S